Showing posts with label Blogadda Tangy Tuesday Pick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blogadda Tangy Tuesday Pick. Show all posts

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Like a Bird

(Note: This post has been selected as one of BlogAdda's Tangy Tuesday Picks, here. That's a second pick from this blog. Thank you guys... I'm honored!)


I was on the cliff. With every quivering step I took towards the edge, skittish pebbles rolled off the steep precipice, into the vast abyss below. Although it was impossible to watch them plunge all the way down, I could imagine them hitting several mean boulders along the way and bouncing off them, glinting in the setting sun as if performing their last dance, and then touching terra firma; at a drop of some 2000 feet from where I now meekly stood. But I was planning to go this very way and that was certain. A few more centimeters now away from the edge... a few more pebbles skittle away. Now... anytime now I would join them. Suddenly, something pushes me forward with gusto. I jerk violently, my feet now slipping, screeching swiftly off the steep slope. I reach the edge, run out of land and then.... I LEAP!


The post mid-day sun was cruel, scorching down on us with all the heat it had in store for the day. The landscape was equally unforgiving, with the flat, plateau-like land absent of any vegetation, save for a lone tree at a spot someone had dispiritedly named - 'One Tree Point'. Nonetheless, our rickety carriage trundled along, a spirited equine named 'Saajan' (?!) leading the way. The guide rattled on, for the thousandth time perhaps, his rehearsed speech of the history of this forsaken, baked-land. I was thoroughly disinterested as anyone could be; the only thing I looked forward to was the guide's assurance that he would help us make contact with a man who could fly. And who would eventually help us fly too.

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The miserable tour was finally over; but not without cheerful sayonaras and some corn-feed to an exuberant Saajan. Now we get to met THE man. Half imagining a dude with biker-gear, spiky gelled-mane and a fake accent to match; we follow the guide to the dude's hangout. Comically, the hangout turned out to be 'Anna's Fast Food'; the dude replaced by a portly, deeply-tanned man with an opposite color on his pressed shirt, oiled curls for the hair and a heavy accent that frequently used the phrase, 'Come you here!!' (?!) I tried to ignore that. After all, he knew some useful people who could paraglide, and that's what we focused on. "We want to paraglide tomorrow. Could you give us details?" we asked him. To which he replied, rolling tongue and all, "Czee, if you waaant to do it naw, then I have my men parraglidingg naw. It is sunzet and the wind is perrfekkt. Toomaarrow, no garrantee." We looked at each other, "NOW?!!!" None of us were ready for NOW! We weren't psyched-up enough, not loaded with the required adrenaline for this sport, not at that moment. But we had no time, it was now or never. One said yes, the other followed and the third's aye made it a trio of wannabe-paragliders. Whooppeee!


The wait was most excruciating. Awaiting your turn on the cliff, watching other mortals plummet off the edge and then craning your neck to see their progress in the sky... it was frightening, especially for someone (read yours truly) who loathes heights. And I don't even want to recall the terrifying drop below. It nearly paralyzed me to watch trees and buildings the size of lego-blocks. I tried not to look down and fixed my eyes on the sky. If I get through this God, I know for certain you exist. Let me survive this, please!

And so I found myself being called out (again)- COME YOU HERE!! In a few seconds I was strapped on with all the safety gear; these guys were nimble. I was going to fly in tandem with an instructor, 3 times my weight (for obvious reasons). Soon, I was all buckled up and ready to go, all this time my legs trembling quite embarrassingly. Now, all that was needed was a gentle breeze to set the wings in motion. The breeze would give flight to the wings, and would tug me and the instructor alongwith it. I was told to move forward, towards the edge of the cliff. Sure, I must've died a few times out of fright alone as I advanced forward... but move ahead I did, and not without solid resolve.

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I was on the cliff. With every quivering step I took towards the edge, skittish pebbles rolled off the steep precipice, into the vast abyss below. Although it was impossible to watch them plunge all the way down, I could imagine them hitting several mean boulders along the way and bouncing off them, glinting in the setting sun as if performing their last dance, and then touching terra firma; at a drop of some 2000 feet from where I now meekly stood. But I was planning to go this very way and that was certain. A few more centimeters now away from the edge... a few more pebbles skittle away. Now... anytime now I would join them. Suddenly, something pushes me forward with gusto. I jerk violently, my feet now slipping, screeching swiftly off the steep slope. I reach the edge, run out of land and then.... I LEAP!


You know what they say about having an out of body experience. Well, this must be something like that. It felt as though I'd left my body behind and it was just me, my thoughts and soul in the sky. I couldn't speak (I didn't even yell when I jumped off the cliff), I couldn't even form an 'O' with my mouth. So this is how birds must feel. Light but powerful, vulnerable but safe, gliding steadily, yet soaring higher and higher. It was magical, simply astounding. With the setting sun as the perfect backdrop, the hills and the valley engulfed me in their endless beauty. We soared in the sky for a few more magical minutes - defying gravity, flouting nature's laws for some more time. Soon, the sun would go down. So it was time to land. Hesitant as I was, I complied.. remembering the landing instructions. So I pulled my legs up, holding them straight before me. We were descending swiftly now. And I could see two men running towards us. Before I knew it, we were down.... my feet grazing ground zero. Ah, Mother Earth! Never have I been so glad to touch down! The men helped me off my gear.. I was entangled in all those wires! I found myself thanking my instructor profusely - he risked his life for my fix of adrenaline too. Then, I sprinted off towards my friends... never before being so glad to be alive. Though it may sound dramatic; I can honestly say the entire experience was like being born again - being liberated from the womb of your fears, as you touch down. Definitely worth trying again.

As for you, dear reader, you have to fly first to feel that way. Wouldn't you?

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Monday, December 7, 2009

Wedding Wows

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PS: (added on 8th Dec, '09): This post has been selected as a 'Tangy Tuesday' pick at Blogadda, here!! Thank you SO much guys!! I am so delighted - this is my first blog award!! :)



'Tis the season of happy unions, and for some unfortunate fellas - a fate worse than a lifetime of prison. But why oh why, do weddings throw up the same cloud bubbles over your head - of the grinning, marked-for-life couple with garlands (noose, anyone?) around the necks and never-ending rows of the world's yummiest cuisines awaiting thy much-emaciated presence? What about us, the harassed invitees (womenfolk, mostly), who are hounded from the day the wedding invitation arrives at the doorstep? Right from which outfit to wear (gentlemen please ignore, this does not apply to you.. I mean, how difficult is it to pick a shirt/kurta and a trouser?), which shoes to trot in, what purse/bag/clutch to hold (it should be 'matching-matching' with the outfit - Ma says), what accessories to wear, what gifts to buy and..... oh wait! This is most crucial - how to lose those extra kilos gained by OD'ing on your favorite cheese-burst pizza at Dominoes last week? Ok, ok... I admit... I don't have to worry about the last part (yet)... I am blessed with a terrific metabolism... a big *muah* to God! I must be your most biased creation! ;)



In case you don't have an outfit saved aside for a rainy day, one that your relatives/friends haven't already seen.... you are doomed, woman! Repeating outfits is a total no-no, a fashion crime, an unforgivable sin! A quick and desperate departure is made, to the nearest mall/boutique or wherever it is girls buy their threads from. In case a tailor (call me a stylist, dahling!) is involved - 'Bhaiyya, bahut urgent hai.... kal hi chahiye' is hastily muttered, only to be met by a pair of severely arched eyebrows that could give the Arc de Triomphe a complex - telling you you're not the first to order him around, so don't 'bhaiyya' him please. But you coo and boo-hoo, and he finally relents. Ha! One down, several more to go! Hasty purchases of shoes, bags, accessories are then made at the speed of light, that long-impending haircut is niptao-ed and your nails are scrubbed until they scream luminosity. The more enterprising will go to the lengths of fixing an appointment with the local salon to turn them ugly ducklings into beautiful white swans (I never understood bleaching, scrubbing and whatever it is that women do to their faces). A hairdo is picked with a carefully manicured finger from a glossy magazine - that should make me look like Angelina Jolie.... huff-puff..... damn! The 'pitts' we go to!! ;)


The D-day finally arrives. You're more nervous than the poor groom himself. Who will come today? I hope that irritating aunt doesn't come, she always bores me to death (beta, when are you getting married, tee-hee... as if she cracked the world's funniest joke) and I hope uncle forgets to set his alarm - he is always cracking dumb PJ's, to a sparse audience of mostly - me! Oh, but I hope... really really hope *insert-droolworthy-crush-here* DOES come, I have gone through SO much effort for him! Once you've made a mental list of who is worthy to come and not come to the wedding, you arrive only to find all those you detest are there first! The entire place reeks of dirty, sexy money (I borrowed that phrase), opulence and some heavy-duty flaunting about. You have the fattest aunties bedecked in more jewellery than the bride and her mother put together, you have all the mota-boys (uncles) flashing their multi-ringed fingers and dual/triad mobile phones at each other. The kids are running helter-skelter, dropping a drink here, sullying the carpet there.... and the waiters (poor things, they look the biggest lost souls of all!) are hurrying around, catering to many whims and fancies. The whole occasion is of apparent merriment, but it is also of muted, and more often - vicious jealousy - 'how the hell did that tramp manage to get her hands on such an expensive sari?' Or, 'look, how much gold she is wearing - is she a walking-talking goldmine?' Or, the judging 'look, such a short, tight dress.... I wonder how she breathes!' Note that all these observations come from women (surprise, surprise!). The most vile of creatures!


But not all behave in a petty fashion - some are really happy for the bride and groom.... especially me - whenever I am witness to a love marriage! So lucky these chaps are! To find your love and then to marry him/her.... just wonderful! You greet the newly-weds and wish them all the success and happiness in the world!


Who can ignore the protesting, growling belly by now? A beeline for the food counter is made; suddenly people appear from nowhere - 9 pm is when the guests actually start trickling in... JIT.... what a coincidence, na? You have to contend with large plates, larger bowls and that stupid napkin under the plate that threatens to slip away anytime. Soon you are juggling them all like a jittery circus clown on his first show. Paneer is inevitably the hot favorite and you find the long queue clogging up at that one mecca of gastric indulgence. After you've cleaned up the Chinese, Chaat and Mexican counters, you hop over to the dessert section and maul it. After you've let a belch or two out (yes, I heard that Uncle... it must be yucky being you!) you know you've had enough. Haath khaali, peth full. Time to go. Another day well wasted.


I haven't even given you a full glimpse into the Great (Indian) Wedding Tamasha. Lest the reader (yes, poor you.... if you've managed this far, you deserve a large medal for tolerance) doze off, I have curtailed my severely itching fingers to type more. I would love to hear from you guys any anecdotes/tales of a big fat wedding that you have attended. They always fascinate me.... nowhere will you see such a kitsch of emotions, blessings and colors blend into one perfect product - the Indian version of the 'happily ever after'. The bottomline being - *addressed to the couple in question* - you better not break up, dearies.... after all, we spent so much on the wedding! We don't want all that to go in vain!