Trouble

My car's idling at yet another traffic signal. I'm stuck at the red lights for the third time already. I want to whack someone, yell my lungs out at the bumbling rickshaw ahead to move his rickety ride, godammit! Traffic in Mumbai can test the patience of a saint. Just as I was thinking of new ways to vent my anger, John-McEnroe-style, there's a knock on the car's window. I roll the windows down and see a suave, criminally gorgeous fella - smile on his lips, hope in his eyes. I had a sullen look on my face and swiftly try to repair it, replacing it with mild incredulity. "Yeah?" I manage. "Are you going to Malad?" he asks me. Incredulity is now replaced with disbelief. That's the last thing I ever expected him to say. I continue to give him a dumb look. "Could you give me a ride to Malad, please?" he persists. 'Yes, yes yes!' my mind shrills. I mean c'mon! He's a Greek God, for crying out loud. I would be but a mortal fool to refuse. I began to reply in the affirmative. And then, swift as lightening, a voice creeps into my head. It is the voice cultivated out of years of education that is indoctrinated into every girl. 'You fool,' it admonishes. 'Are you out of your mind? Don't you know that thing they say about talking to strangers? This guy could look like a fashion model right off the rampwalk, but that doesn't mean he couldn't be a mugger. Or a rapist. Or a serial killer. Or a psychopath. Or a dangerous combination of all. Refuse right away! And roll up those windows. Lock your doors. Yell out loud if Greek God lashes out. Do you have a sharp object that you could use? A knife, a filer, a scissor? Nothing? ARRRGH!'

I draw a deep breath. Had I let that control-freak-of-a-voice possess me, I would have been classified as a nutty oddball and landed myself in a room full of padded walls. Instead, a calm voice takes over. "I'm awfully sorry," I say, "but I have friends to pick up at the next signal. I can't help you." Greek God looks dejected. "Its okay," he politely says and moves away to search for alternatives. I kick myself. Had I not been a girl, I would never have faced this quandary. What does that station master say in Jab We Met? Akeli ladki ek khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai. Sad (and slightly crude) stereotype. Substantiated by countless horror stories of women being victims of brutal crimes, simply because they were careless or just plain unlucky. No matter how well trained you are in self-defense or are Wonder Woman yourself, you don't go around talking to strangers, even if it means genuinely helping a person in need. You don't take risks. That's what we are told, and most of us dutifully follow.

Not that I regret I was born a girl. It doesn't matter much whether you are from Mars or Venus, not in today's world anyway. However, more often than not, we become subjects of stereotype, which forms the basis of gender prejudice. You're a girl. So it is presumed you are weak and vulnerable. No late nights, no traveling alone, no talking to strangers. I find it highly regressive; although, it would be premature to conclude that the premise behind these restrictions is entirely wrong. Some of us may know how to take care of ourselves. There are countless women who party late at night, travel to far-flung destinations alone or can confidently handle a conversation with a stranger, without getting the heebie-jeebies. Good for them; I wish there were more of their kind. But maybe, just maybe, our parents are right Maybe that voice in our heads, control-freak or not, has some credibility. You can't push your luck too far. Its an insane world out there, increasingly unsafe for women. And sometimes, perhaps just sometimes, you need to take a step back. Even if you're raring to go. Take precautions. always. Better to be safe than sorry. After all, its only for your own good, as our parents love to say :)

Living Dangerously

The sight was chilling. From the corner of my car's windshield, I saw the mangled remains of what was once a motorbike. The mishap must've occurred minutes before I reached the spot. Pieces of glass and metal were strewn everywhere. Somewhere under the mass of twisted metal lay a man, but only a bloodied arm was visible. It wasn't moving. My heart skipped a beat on watching the ghastly scene in front of me. The sight of blood - gushing out uninterrupted - was rather unsettling. While fervently wishing the driver had survived this terrible accident, several questions immediately popped in my mind - WHY do these bikers drive the way they do? WHY do they risk their lives by speeding like maniacs-on-wheels? WHY do they try to overtake the vehicle in front (from the left side) without giving any indication whatsoever, despite there being very little space to manoeuvre ? WHY do they zip past vehicles in rash zig-zags, with every turn potentially perilous enough to go horribly wrong? WHY do they drive inches close to the vehicle alongside - at risk of making contact with the vehicle any moment? WHY WHY WHY???

No doubt they are cheaper and more convenient than their larger four-wheeled counterparts, but I personally feel two-wheelers are the most dangerous inventions ever created for roads. The entire concept is based on balancing a vehicle that is probably 4 times heavier than you are! At blazing speeds, the slightest contact with another vehicle or a minor oil-spill on the road is enough to render the bike to turn turtle and the cause immense injury, even death. Several lives and limbs are being lost due to such mishaps everyday. Bikes are extremely unsafe and hazardous modes of transport and sureshot disasters-waiting-to-happen for the more reckless lot of drivers.

That one unfortunate sight was enough to make me swear off motorbikes or any other biped. It may not for the others, the ones who live life on the edge, who think they can get away with such brash daredevilry. However, today I make a heartfelt plea to all such motorists - please DO NOT drive amok like someone possessed. Whatever it is that requires your attention - be it at home or work - it is NOT worth your life. Neither does whizzing about at top speeds render you a heartthrob of your locality/city/nation. Live a little less dangerously. Value your lives. We all have short ones anyway.

On a lighter note - here is a bumper sticker (crude painting, rather) that I spotted on a rickety tempo plying the roads. Now if only all of us could adopt this chap's spirits!

The wise words: मालिक का दौलत, ड्राईवर का पसीना - रोड पे चलती है बनके हसीना! (LOL!)

Power of Two

Didn't need any coaxing to believe in the institution of marriage. These few, simple lines did the trick.

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying, 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness'."

-Susan Sarandon, being very wise in 'Shall we Dance'.

Amen to that.

(Mansi & Deeps.... you're likely to have dropped the contents of your hands by now)

The Domino Effect (not the pizza, silly!)

The financial world is witnessing a bloodbath, as I type, that has not been observed since the Great Depression of the 1930's. Is there anything more pathologically distressing than the term 'depression' itself, you ask? Thats the sort of picture we're looking at right now. Billions of dollars have evaporated (and still are) since August 2007, when the subprime crisis first raised its diseased head. The contagion spread, and how swiftly! Centuries-old, mammoth and elite institutions are being massacred like contaminated poultry being culled on some third-world farmland. Only this time the farmland is NOT that of a third world country. It is that of the financial behemoth we know as America. The golden land of financial innovation & byzantine products (so complex that even their makers would not fully comprehend) is being brought from lofty heights to its knees. CEO's and other management hotshots who were once hailed for their financial wizardry and made to look as if the sun shined out of their polished arses, are now cowering under shadows of their own brashful actions. They have been humbled (albeit with fat-severance packages for their efforts). The entire US of A has been humbled. Mind you, I'm not anti American hegemony and hence, reveling in their miseries. Neither am I trotting around with the smug air of someone who is insulated from this mega-mess. Because I am indeed affected. I work at a global bank which, although has been shielded from major carnage, is not completely immune to headwinds swiftly coming its way. It is sailing in murky waters and all it takes is one ugly event (or a combination of many) to rock the boat. Just yesterday, one of our peers - Lehman Bros. filed for bankruptcy. And with it, around 2000 employees have lost their jobs in Powai, a few kilometers away from us. Where will they go? Do these financial biggies know the far-reaching effects of their greedy, irresponsible behaviours? When will this recklessness stop & accountability begin? When will the 'regulators' really begin to regulate?

A few crestfallen faces apart, not many are appearing to be affected by the grim situation that faces us. The bank assures us that we are safe. But I've heard that one before. And I've learnt not to bet the last dime in my pocket on such sunny assurances. Fortunately I do not have bills to pay and EMIs to repay on time that would necessitate manic anxiety and sleepless nights. But what about those who do? For their sake, I hope we sail unscathed through these choppy waters. God save us all. Oh, and PS: You can kiss goodbye to your bonuses for this year. 'Pudchya varshi lavkar ya,' is all you can plead!

Meanwhile, I have instructed my financial advisor to stop investing my money in the market for now. For a while now she's been trying (with award-worthy patience) to convince me that one should invest when markets are bearish. 'Okay,' I say for the time being, 'take the money and park it somewhere nice'. But a few months down the line, the only direction the markets are going is southwards. I have this impending urge to yell at her Jerry-Maguire-style: SHOW ME THE MONEY!! 'Patience, Avanti,' she calmingly says, sensing my unease, 'Patience is the hallmark of a successful investor!' Patience can go take a deep dive into the nearest pothole, I say. No more stock markets for me. Even if I'm a long-term-and-hence-you're-guaranteed-returns investor. I'll park my funds in a prim lil' bank. Oh, wait! Aren't they all in serious-shit too? Back to the top of this post. Did someone quip 'vicious circle'?

Atleast I can tell my grandkiddos I was THERE when the big giants were falling like mere ninepins. Though I'm willing to bet they wouldn't envy it. Or even give two hoots 'bout it, for that matter. Just like we didn't learn from our past follies. And so, history will repeat itself for this very fallacy of man.

Some Independence

I'm not talking about larger, national issues here. Like how liberated we really are, or not for that matter. Don't get me wrong or categorize me as an unpatriotic cynic... its not as if I dismiss the past 61 years of so-called independence as periods of zero-achievements. I'm proud of my country. We have attained a lot, scores of people are definitely better off than they would have been in that era; globally we are emerging as a powerhouse, we are nuclear-equipped, Indian companies are acquiring foreign ones, men are being outsmarted by women in both schoolplaces & workplaces and yes, Bollywood (and its audience) finally accepts mainstream smooches, much to the delight of frontrow whistlers.

I think we term it 'independence' because the only independence we gained is from the British, and that too, territorially. Individually, we are still enmeshed in webs of our own mentalities. We may possess more moolah than our forefathers ever dreamt about, but where is the tranquil life that they led and we so desperately seek? Today we have lost ourselves in the whole rat-race of roti-kapda-makaan. Isn't it funny how we've turned the most basic of human needs into a parade-of-affluence itself? Nah, I don't want a simple roti with boiled vegetables. I want a jumbo McBurger with extra fries and yes, you can add 2 extra layers of cheese too. I don't want to don a salwaar kameez (jeez, I'll look like the local behenji)... I want that new autumn-mid-half-winter-or-fall-whatever ensemble from Versace. A two-room bedroom? Gee, thats so 1990's. I want a plush new apartment with min. 4 bedrooms, a jacuzzi and a pool to play water-polo in. And that too, not in some 'gawti' place like Mira Road. Nothing further than Malabar Hill will do for me.

Nah, I don't think we are liberated at all. We are all silent, unprotesting slaves to the oldest enticer of all - avarice. It consumes us with all its opulence & insatiability and leaves us begging for more. Greed is the source of all troubles. And I'm afraid, it is a bottomless pit we're all falling into. And still falling. There's no coming out of it.

Some independence we have obtained from ourselves indeed.