Fine Dine Pantomime

(From Wikianswers)

Fine dining restaurants generally have the following services and requirements:

Dress Code: In most cases a fine dining restaurant will not permit jeans, t-shirts, hats and may even require a suit jacket and tie.

Service: The service at a fine dining restaurant will generally be top notch. Expect each table to have no less than two servers directly responsible for it and a Maitre 'D overseeing service.

Menu: The menu at fine dining restaurants tends to be extremely classy with high quality ingredients and prepared by a well-known and talented chef with years of industry experience.

Food: Top quality produce treated delicately with respect. Small portions paid with extreme details. Combining food and art concept together. Making food taste good and look good.

Price: Expect to pay a little (to substantially) more for the extra attention to detail. This could range from $30 per person to hundreds - depending on menu and wine selections.

Valet Parking: Many fine dining restaurants offer valet parking for their dining guests.

Reservations: You will likely need to book ahead of your dining experience to ensure you will have a table upon your arrival.

Whoaaaaa!! Such elaborate glitz over something as elementary as feeding a hungry stomach??

I don't understand 'Fine Dining'. I really don't. I also don't comprehend why such ado is made over the 'fine dining experience'. And why the ones who haven't been through this bothersome ordeal are looked upon as neanderthals or worse. No, I'm not writing this piece out of angst or contempt for having been given the bum's rush out of a swanky 5-star restaurant... instead, I have just observed those who 'fine dine' regularly & wax eloquent (not without the accompanying theatrics) about the whole blessed-event. You'd be forgiven to think they've been to paradise and back. I too have been to several swish hotels during my present work tenure. I was at the Leela recently, on a lunch-out with my office colleagues. But frankly, the food was dismal. First of all, the choice was limited. I am spoilt for more alternatives at the local Udupi restaurant. Then, I am forced to pick from some bizarrely-named offerings. They don't even bother to mention the ingredients. I might as well be eating sponge. On second thoughts, atleast it didn't make my throat feel soapy or bubbly. Small consolation that was. For the the food was not even hot. While I was painfully gulping down the chilly fare, my brain was wickedly propping up images of piping hot rotis (dipped in a bowl-full of ghee) I had at a roadside dhaba on the Delhi national highway 2 years back (Yumm!!!) Dessert was the only respite. But wait, that made us toil too. For each offering was in a bowl so tiny, I could play Barbie with it. Granted that dessert is not to be eaten in tubs, but atleast don't make me feel like I'm with Ken out-for-lunch!

Don't get me wrong, the ambiance at these hotels is fabulous. You've got colossal buildings adorned with the most expensive carpets, sculptures, antiques, chandeliers, artificial waterfalls and exotic furniture that money can buy. The inside of the hotel is a labyrinth in itself. Several rooms leading to other rooms. And each more beautiful than the previous. The valet salutes you, the doorman greets you (a man more than twice my age calls me 'Madam') and the waiters fuss over you. But isn't that all so superficial & hollow? Who knows, the doorman might personally think you're a grand old fart. Yet he salutes you, overpowered by the money jingling in your pocket. I say, cut all that jazz and bring on the food mate! That is what concerns me.... not if you call me Madam or not.

Maybe I'm just not hardwired that way - to appreciate the 'finer' details of life or to demand exclusivity. I have nothing against the suave, I'm-sure-they're-important lot who dash in and out of these hotels, shelling out ridiculous amounts of money on a simple lunch that can be had for under 100 bucks. Good for them. They see something I clearly don't. As for me, I'm dashing to my favorite panipuri-wallah tomorrow. His humble (and a thousand times tastier) dole-outs will receive maximum appreciation from me atleast!