The Devil wears Heels

They may be only 3 inches high (or more, but that's just being bombastic), but they add a full 300% to your confidence level. Feminists scoff at it, health experts are horrified by it and Moms cluck-cluck at it. "I used to wear them too," mine wisely informs me. "But look at me today. My knees hurt and my feet feel like two slabs of pain." And she isn't wrong. She's taken a shot in her feet (ouch!) and is currently showing signs of mild rheumatism. After chucking her heels for flats, she now wears huge, chunky soles inside her shoes, so that her feet don't give her a piercing pain whenever she walks.

Now you'd think this ominous aftermath is dismal enough to make you dispose your Manolos & Jimmy Choos, but since when did women display rationality when it comes to matters of style and fashion? Take for instance, those huge, luxurious hats that women not-so-demurely display at derby races. Such outlandish and useless inventions. Now why would you want two cuckoos (or any other bird)/wild berries/bushy, furry flowers/large bows or any such comical objects sitting atop your head, the extensive hood of the said hat meanwhile curtaining your entire face, making it impossible to recognize you? Yet, Page-3 divas strut in them as if they were the most aesthetic things on this planet. Personally, I prefer smaller hats - the more humble ones, who have just one function - to keep out the blazing sun; not to make you look like you just came out of the Jungle Book.

Coming back to the topic of heels (and the atrocity they make you go through), again, they may be perfectly irrational inventions, but they are a God-send to us women. They make shorter women look taller and taller women look ...well... even taller! When you first don them, the ground beneath your feet begins to look much more distant. Objects look smaller and you tower over people. When I wore a set of black heeled-beauties, the first starking difference it made was in the train. Earlier, I was taller by a few inches than most ladies in the packed compartment, but that meant someone's hair would end up near my mouth/neck (very irritating!). Now I am a good feet above the entire swarm, so much so that I can almost feel the clean, unadulterated and uncluttered atmosphere above. Next difference it made was when I was with taller men (feminists are not welcome to give their opinions). No longer I feel like a midget (though 5'5 is not exactly one). But I'm 5'8 now and it feels heavenly. No longer do I have to 'look up' to them. Its definitely liberating! And yes, it is also the best weapon for self-defence. If any goon tries to act fresh with you, jab your heels below the belt. Unbearable pain guaranteed.

Yes... I know, I know.... heels are lethal for your legs, back and posture. But oddly enough, I'm okay with the pain. Don't ask me why. We women are dumb-headed when it comes to heels. We will scream and yell at the sight of a pair of sleek, gleaming stilettos, wanting to grab it before the next girl. Rationality goes out of the window.

Until the first pangs of pain hit us, we will happily click-clack in our heels!