Its strange how you're ecstatic one moment and the next moment, all that chirrup is deflated. Here I was minding my own business, running an errand for Mom (beta, get 2kgs home-made chakki ka atta on your way back home), stepping outta my ride and in the process of locking it. Suddenly, a glittering truck arrives with noisy fanfare, laden with boisterous (and perhaps, half drunk) 'dahi-handi' enthusiasts. They're packed like sardines in the truck; there are probably a hundred of them, and they're dangerously close to spilling over, onto the hard gravel below. There are probably a hundred others too on the road I was walking on, but somehow they filter everyone, and spot me. Suddenly, they turn all the more riotous. They start hooting and cat-calling. They cry out some incomprehensibles. I'm not even trying to listen. I have my head stooped low. My anger is simmering. I have half a mind to pick up a stone I have just spotted (providence, huh?) and hurl it with all might at the truck. At the loutish fiends in it. Wishing it hit one of them in the eye and it popped out. However, what's the point? They'll continue doing what they do best. So many women worldwide are victims of eve-teasing. And I'm positive, 99% of them go unchecked, ignored. What fight can you put up, when you're facing a group of fully-grown (and supposedly, mature) men, who are slicing you, demeaning you with every catcall? I felt miserable the whole day. Not because of the rowdy bunch of losers and their hooting at me. It was because I could do nothing. I was powerless. Utterly and completely helpless.
There HAS to be some way to stop such hooligans from displaying such intolerable behaviour. A million women would breathe easy if there was a way to put a fullstop to their public shaming (however minor it may be). I'm not a feminist, but its time such treatment of women as mere objects come to an end. Only then would we able to celebrate true independence. But I'm at a loss - what could the solution be?
19 comments:
Hey Avanti, it happened when me along with two of my ofz frnz (girls) were on the way to station. Even I was wondering if at all I could have done anything. I am not Sunny Deol to face those 100 something filthy tounged fools. But at the same time, felt embrassed since my frnz faced the heat and I couldnt even raise a voice.
Nothing can be dont to control this menace. It at all something should happen, they themselves should understand.
I cant abuse but Shahid starrer helped me...
"Kaminey"....all of them....
When the group is large it might be safer to steer clear of the scene,as you can never tell what they would decide to do in their state of frenzy!However, tackling sole or pair cases was easy for me,as u may remember my post on the Pattaya desis who were being cheap to my dawter and myself! I just swung around walked back and fired them to their utter shock! But still, be very careful always, never know which nasty fellow cud be vengeful! Try ur best to never show ur fear!Act like a gunda woman too, atleast in ur stride!! Take care!!
@Hemal: Lol... Wish we all had a Sunny Deol in our lives to protect us with his 'dhai-kilo ka haath' and his mercenary yell 'EHHHHHHHHH' ;) But we are not so lucky as his heroines :(
@Shikz: Haha... Good term for them.... Kaminey log ;)
@Fafy: Believe it or not, I was thinking of you and how aptly you handled those ruffians when they tried to act fresh with your daughter. But you're right, its never wise to do the same when faced with a large group (in this case, a hundred of them!). And yeah... I will try to take it in my stride :) Ignoring such idiots is the key!!
Ok, no (attempted) witty comment on this one. :|
I can't imagine what it must feel like. I can't think of anything except to dehumanize them, and think of them as pathetic creatures that deserve no attention. Sort of like barking dogs. I wish you can find a way to prevent it from spoiling your mood. Indulging in some instantly gratifying activity (a movie, sitcom, music or game in my case) is the way I deal with the unavoidable irritants that threaten to ruin my mood.
Haha! I agree with you Arslan, and that's the way I de-stress too (mostly its by listening to happy music - some Jack Johnson types). But such incidents are indeed a jolt to one's dignity (only a girl will understand that), more so if you're walking alone on the street, with no one there to back you up. But this incident doesn't bother me anymore; indeed, I laugh it off now. I have already dismissed the offenders as worthless; they're not worth the page I am writing on now ;) But still they feature here so that everyone knows THEIR true worth.
@Avanti, came across to your blog from Arslan's. I don't really know what can be done to stop the menace of eve-teasing. Perhaps, in a group as large as the one you described, it may not be easy. But, in buses or at public places, I feel it is important for both men and women to take a stand and punish the offenders.
Thank you Sumit! Its nice to see guys taking a firm stand against this menace! Do support a damsel-in-distress if you come across one! :)
Of course! But, I'd also like to implore these damsels to not ignore small incidents in public places/buses etc. If they feel outraged, they should express themselves.
I'm confident that there will be other similar damsels and also some dudes who will come across to help.
:)
Hello there. Chanced upon your blog & would like to add a line of support. Nobody would take you a feminist for thinking the way you do. It truly is a apathising situation, which we face all the time!
Unfortunately there are no solutions to it except self realization...which again is a very far off thing to even think of from such hooligans!
Thank you Biraj!! I too have realized that one can do nothing in this situation. Its they who should change themselves. But sadly, like you said, that is easier said than done in case of these rascals! All I can do is post this incident on my blog, so that whoever is reading it (and also happens to indulge in such behaviour) refrains from doing it the next time.
Well while it's really pathetic state of affair, there is no hope for improvement.. it will get worse and worse and worse... after all what you expect from 1 billion uncivilized souls?
I don't think god will bother to reborn here.. it may be too difficult for him as well to change this place..
Sorry to hear what happened with you Avanti...
It's frustrating situation.
Mihir, that's a gloomy picture you've painted. But yes, we as a country do lack discipline! At the risk of going slightly off-track, I will mention that this should be inculcated in children right from the beginning. Manners and Ethics should be part of our syllabus since we grossly lack them!
I totally understand how it feels as in my college days one of my close friends was eve teased at a railway station. Two of us lost our control and made that guy see stars in the daylight. Even in normal train travel I notice guys staring regularly as if they haven't seen a girl :). Hope they realize soon that by staring you can't gain her attention. it is what kinda person you are that matters :D.
Very aptly put Harikrishnan :) Your friend was lucky she had two very brave guys with her ;) Somehow, here in India, I feel the men are fixated with solitary women (desperados of the highest order) and behave in a boorish manner, more so if they're in a crowd.
I didn't intend to blow this issue out of proportion and give it undue attention... its just my noble intention to get as many guys to read this and be aware of this menance. The more people know, the more they would hopefully realize what they're doing is totally unacceptable and futile. We need to re-educate as many people as we can!
An ever growing problem it is indeed! Maybe if they made a bollywood movie on it, people(MEN) may get the message.
But u really think ppl get the message thru movies... I doubt!!!
Maybe, maybe not. But the possibility looks bleak!
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