Nostalgia

Its been extremely BORING for the past few days. At work, at home... everywhere. And as if to corroborate this grim situation, the weather goes ahead and exhibits its gloomiest best. However, I have this nagging feeling that my current predicament may not have anything to do with dismal weather, lackluster colleagues or exhausted family members (and hence the spillover effect). Rather, its because I'm approaching a point in my life they call the 'quarter-life crisis'. Not yet though, I will turn 24 this 28th of August... but yes, the dreaded '25' looms before me like a rabbit in a car's headlights. Only this time, I'm the shit-scared rabbit.

I've been through an assortment of such stages: the I-can't-play-with-barbies-anymore crisis (10 years old), the gawking-boys-are-staring-at-me crisis (15 years old), the sweet-sixteen-is-an-illusion crisis (yes, 16 years old) and the most tragic of all: annoying-aunts-are-trying-to-marry-me-off crisis (20 years old and still going strong)! WHY? Why do we have to grow older? (thats a brainless medical-cum-philosophical question. I seek no smartarse answers; this is a purely rhetorical query). I then came up with a wisearse statement to cheer myself up (which my pal thinks is a brilliant quip) - "I'm getting older.... but so is everyone else!" Good one, innit? But alas, it didn't work. Saw these schoolgirls the other day and was immediately struck with a fresh bout of despair. How I wish I was in school again! How I wish I wore starched-blue uniforms again, fought for the front row seats every morning, sniggered at my malyaali teachers pronouncing 'air' as 'aiyer', fought for the duster to clean the blackboard, stood in line in stoic silence at assemblies, memorized long speeches for annual days, shared my dabba with my classmates, wore a 'color' dress on my birthday, distributed candies for friends (and Cadburys for teachers), scrammed at the ring of the closing bell & ran for window-seats in the school bus! Ah, how wonderful were those days!! How carefree we were, cocooned in the protective shells of school & family! How I wish it never ended!

And now... here I am, at the threshold of a another phase in life, engulfed in mild agitation & uncertain of the future. Its not as if I don't look forward and anticipate exciting times ahead. Its just that sometimes I wish we never grew up so fast. I wish I was stuck in this continuum called 'time' for a wee bit more longer? But as a wiseman said 'Time and tide wait for no one'. Soon this quarter-life thingy too shall pass. What matters is how you make it more wondrous & beautiful so you'll always have memories to cherish in the future.

Just as I cherish my amazing days in school at this stage in my life.